1 00:00:03,417 --> 00:00:06,284 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:24,771 NARRATOR: Man lives in the sunlit world 3 00:00:24,771 --> 00:00:29,231 of what he believes to be reality. 4 00:00:30,744 --> 00:00:34,181 But... there is, 5 00:00:34,181 --> 00:00:38,719 unseen by most, an underworld. 6 00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:42,389 A place that is just as real 7 00:00:42,389 --> 00:00:46,493 but not as brightly lit. 8 00:00:46,493 --> 00:00:49,257 A dark side. 9 00:01:04,311 --> 00:01:06,079 Go slowly. 10 00:01:06,079 --> 00:01:09,082 The great ones always set traps for grave robbers. 11 00:01:09,082 --> 00:01:12,285 The most innocent stone can trigger the catastrophe. 12 00:01:12,285 --> 00:01:13,887 l can't take all night, Ahmed. 13 00:01:13,887 --> 00:01:15,989 l don't want the Egyptian army dropping in 14 00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:17,257 for a piece of this pie. 15 00:01:17,257 --> 00:01:18,592 l assure you, Dr. Gromley... 16 00:01:18,592 --> 00:01:19,860 Gormley. 17 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:22,329 l have told no one of my discovery, except you, 18 00:01:22,329 --> 00:01:23,597 and the lady, of course. 19 00:01:23,597 --> 00:01:24,865 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chop, chop. 20 00:01:24,865 --> 00:01:26,059 Come on. 21 00:01:34,741 --> 00:01:37,644 AHMED: The minute l discovered these passages, 22 00:01:37,644 --> 00:01:40,881 l could hear the song of gold and jewels. 23 00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:42,416 Spare us the poetry, Ahmed. 24 00:01:42,416 --> 00:01:44,785 l could have gone to the authorities, of course. 25 00:01:44,785 --> 00:01:47,721 But why keep such wonderments locked in a museum 26 00:01:47,721 --> 00:01:50,390 when they can be converted into cash? 27 00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:51,792 You're a real philosopher. 28 00:01:51,792 --> 00:01:53,059 And you, Dr. Gromley... 29 00:01:53,059 --> 00:01:55,061 Gormley. 30 00:01:55,061 --> 00:01:57,431 ...are a practical archaeologist. 31 00:01:57,431 --> 00:02:00,400 Are you sure you can get the treasures out of the country? 32 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,902 Don't worry about Harold. 33 00:02:01,902 --> 00:02:03,336 He has his ways. 34 00:02:03,336 --> 00:02:05,270 Damn right. 35 00:02:07,574 --> 00:02:08,875 HAROLD: How much further? 36 00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,911 AHMED: l'm not exactly certain 37 00:02:10,911 --> 00:02:12,412 what lies beyond this door. 38 00:02:12,412 --> 00:02:13,814 HAROLD: Look at that! 39 00:02:13,814 --> 00:02:16,783 AHMED: This is as far as l've explored. 40 00:02:16,783 --> 00:02:19,286 These stones presented an insurmountable obstacle. 41 00:02:19,286 --> 00:02:20,554 (wind whistling) 42 00:02:20,554 --> 00:02:21,755 HAROLD: lncredible. 43 00:02:21,755 --> 00:02:23,023 What does it say? 44 00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:26,259 Well, basically, what it comes down to is, 45 00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:27,594 ''No admittance. 46 00:02:27,594 --> 00:02:30,063 No one is allowed beyond this point.'' 47 00:02:30,063 --> 00:02:31,531 l'll get the plastic explosives. 48 00:02:31,531 --> 00:02:32,732 This shouldn't take much. 49 00:02:32,732 --> 00:02:34,034 Be careful. 50 00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:37,237 AHMED: Yes. Proceed with the utmost extreme caution. 51 00:02:37,237 --> 00:02:38,538 lt would not take much 52 00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:41,141 to bring a ton of rocks down on our heads. 53 00:02:41,141 --> 00:02:43,276 The risk is worth the reward, wouldn't you say? 54 00:02:43,276 --> 00:02:44,544 Shouldn't we take cover? 55 00:02:44,544 --> 00:02:46,046 l'm gonna do this with a series 56 00:02:46,046 --> 00:02:48,315 of small explosions; use just as much power as we need. 57 00:02:48,315 --> 00:02:49,549 We'll wear the thing down. 58 00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:52,252 Yes. No need to destroy any valuable artifacts. 59 00:02:52,252 --> 00:02:53,487 HAROLD: Don't worry. 60 00:02:53,487 --> 00:02:55,522 lf this really is the tomb of Amenhotep, 61 00:02:55,522 --> 00:02:57,290 you'll be able to buy yourself a pyramid. 62 00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,226 Ready? 63 00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:00,352 Stand back. 64 00:03:04,297 --> 00:03:06,166 Here, honey. 65 00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:08,532 Hold this. 66 00:03:15,775 --> 00:03:18,175 (scraping) 67 00:03:20,247 --> 00:03:22,082 AHMED: Utterly amazing. 68 00:03:22,082 --> 00:03:23,617 How did you do that? 69 00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:24,918 l don't know. 70 00:03:24,918 --> 00:03:26,853 Maybe l touched a release mechanism. 71 00:03:26,853 --> 00:03:29,289 Oh, l'm not gonna stand here second-guessing a door. 72 00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:30,490 Let's go. 73 00:03:30,490 --> 00:03:32,685 Ahmed, you first. 74 00:03:34,094 --> 00:03:36,892 Thank you, but l would gladly surrender that honor. 75 00:03:45,872 --> 00:03:47,965 WOMAN: Oh, wow. 76 00:03:56,082 --> 00:03:58,073 (whispering): Harold? 77 00:03:59,085 --> 00:04:00,453 Nothing shines. 78 00:04:00,453 --> 00:04:02,022 No gold? 79 00:04:02,022 --> 00:04:03,757 (whispering): Well, this isn't the pharaoh's tomb. 80 00:04:03,757 --> 00:04:05,125 lt's just an outer chamber. 81 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:07,685 Well, who's that, the receptionist? 82 00:04:09,462 --> 00:04:11,431 WOMAN: ''Here lies 83 00:04:11,431 --> 00:04:14,034 ''Tapok, Lord Chamberlain 84 00:04:14,034 --> 00:04:17,604 to the Most High and Mighty, Son of the Sun, Ahknaton.'' 85 00:04:17,604 --> 00:04:19,673 (squealing): We found it! Told ya! 86 00:04:19,673 --> 00:04:20,874 (sighs) 87 00:04:20,874 --> 00:04:24,477 Okay, the pharaoh's tomb must be somewhere beyond that point. 88 00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:25,845 All right, first things first. 89 00:04:25,845 --> 00:04:27,180 -Ahmed? -Huh? 90 00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:28,448 Help me lift this lid. 91 00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:30,283 Oh, why disturb an employee? 92 00:04:30,283 --> 00:04:31,545 BOTH: Come on! 93 00:04:35,822 --> 00:04:37,290 -(woman murmurs) -(Ahmed exhales) 94 00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:38,458 HAROLD: Ready? 95 00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:39,726 AHMED: Yes. 96 00:04:39,726 --> 00:04:41,717 (all grunting with effort) 97 00:04:49,102 --> 00:04:51,671 WOMAN: Look at that necklace. 98 00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:53,440 Riches to rags. 99 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,708 Pardon the pun. 100 00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:56,009 lf this is the servant, 101 00:04:56,009 --> 00:04:58,478 can you imagine what's waiting for us, huh? 102 00:04:58,478 --> 00:05:00,413 AHMED: That bauble alone is worth a king's ransom. 103 00:05:00,413 --> 00:05:02,949 l would take it and gladly leave well enough alone. 104 00:05:02,949 --> 00:05:04,451 Chicken feed, Ahmed. 105 00:05:04,451 --> 00:05:06,019 We're going for the whole bonanza. 106 00:05:06,019 --> 00:05:09,322 The pharaoh's chamber must be somewhere beyond this point. 107 00:05:09,322 --> 00:05:11,449 A bird in the hand. 108 00:05:13,526 --> 00:05:15,261 HAROLD: Leave it! 109 00:05:15,261 --> 00:05:17,456 We'll pick it up on the way back. 110 00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:23,870 (gags, neck cracks) 111 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:26,373 (screaming) 112 00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:27,772 (thud) 113 00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:34,247 (Harold and woman gasp) 114 00:05:34,247 --> 00:05:37,183 This has got to be an illusion. 115 00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,117 Oh, yeah? Tell Ahmed. 116 00:05:41,521 --> 00:05:43,723 (grunting) 117 00:05:43,723 --> 00:05:45,657 (angry muttering) 118 00:05:47,293 --> 00:05:48,528 The plastique. 119 00:05:48,528 --> 00:05:49,927 WOMAN: Hell, no. You can't set that off in here. 120 00:05:52,265 --> 00:05:54,401 Press it. 121 00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:56,803 (explosion) 122 00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:58,638 (Tapok grunts) 123 00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:00,629 (mutters angrily) 124 00:06:01,975 --> 00:06:04,544 (Harold yelping) 125 00:06:04,544 --> 00:06:06,011 Please, dear God! No! 126 00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:09,942 (nasal grunting) 127 00:06:11,284 --> 00:06:15,355 l will strip the flesh from your bones! 128 00:06:15,355 --> 00:06:16,990 Aileen, save me! 129 00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:18,458 He spoke English. 130 00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,927 l speak the language of any intruder 131 00:06:20,927 --> 00:06:23,296 in this sacred burial place, 132 00:06:23,296 --> 00:06:27,300 so they can hear my curse over their bloody coffins. 133 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,002 (Harold shrieking) 134 00:06:29,002 --> 00:06:30,670 HAROLD: Humor him! 135 00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:31,705 -AlLEEN: Um, hi. -(Tapok growls) 136 00:06:31,705 --> 00:06:34,007 (clears throat) Uh, you say others have come here? 137 00:06:34,007 --> 00:06:35,031 Many others! 138 00:06:35,942 --> 00:06:38,011 And it has amused me 139 00:06:38,011 --> 00:06:41,014 to watch their bones disintegrate. 140 00:06:41,014 --> 00:06:43,183 We're not grave robbers. We're... We're scientists. 141 00:06:43,183 --> 00:06:45,218 Like your astrologers. We... We only want 142 00:06:45,218 --> 00:06:46,786 to study your culture. 143 00:06:46,786 --> 00:06:49,255 No matter! 144 00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:52,325 You're ghosts now! 145 00:06:52,325 --> 00:06:54,461 (Harold whimpering) 146 00:06:54,461 --> 00:06:56,563 l will play with you 147 00:06:56,563 --> 00:06:59,599 as if you were my toys. 148 00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:01,901 l will amuse myself, 149 00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:04,037 and then, oblivion! 150 00:07:04,037 --> 00:07:05,472 HAROLD (crying): He means it. 151 00:07:05,472 --> 00:07:07,240 AlLEEN: l know he means it! 152 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,376 l will think... of a slow death. 153 00:07:10,376 --> 00:07:11,377 (Harold whimpers) 154 00:07:11,377 --> 00:07:13,279 A special one, something memorable 155 00:07:13,279 --> 00:07:16,616 for me to recall into the next millennium. 156 00:07:16,616 --> 00:07:18,785 As you wish, Lord Chamberlain 157 00:07:18,785 --> 00:07:21,087 to the Most High and Mighty, Son of the Sun. 158 00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:22,622 -What are you saying? -Shut up. 159 00:07:22,622 --> 00:07:24,190 You know my title?! 160 00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:25,692 What-What, are you kidding me? 161 00:07:25,692 --> 00:07:27,026 You're a very important man. 162 00:07:27,026 --> 00:07:28,528 Uh, well, yes, 163 00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:30,764 but l thought that, after all these year-- 164 00:07:30,764 --> 00:07:31,924 Wait a minute! 165 00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:35,502 You read it on my sarcophagus! 166 00:07:35,502 --> 00:07:36,870 Oh... 167 00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:38,805 We're dead! 168 00:07:38,805 --> 00:07:41,574 l will make marbles of your eyeballs! 169 00:07:41,574 --> 00:07:43,176 AlLEEN: All right. 170 00:07:43,176 --> 00:07:44,711 Do it. Fine. Do it. 171 00:07:44,711 --> 00:07:45,912 Get it over with. 172 00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:47,313 -Aileen! -Shut up! 173 00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:48,748 Yes. 174 00:07:48,748 --> 00:07:49,983 Right now. 175 00:07:49,983 --> 00:07:51,151 HAROLD: No! 176 00:07:51,151 --> 00:07:53,720 No! No! No, not right now! 177 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,623 (Tapok laughs) 178 00:07:56,623 --> 00:07:57,824 She was just trying to incite you. 179 00:07:57,824 --> 00:07:59,092 You're not gonna let yourself get talked 180 00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:00,260 into anything, are you? 181 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:01,561 l wonder how long 182 00:08:01,561 --> 00:08:03,997 your heart will keep beating outside of your chest. 183 00:08:03,997 --> 00:08:05,932 Not long, Your High and Mightiness. 184 00:08:05,932 --> 00:08:07,901 He's not gonna kill you... yet. 185 00:08:07,901 --> 00:08:10,003 -You want to bet on it?! -l-l know it. 186 00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:14,073 Do you dare to doubt Tapok's declaration? 187 00:08:14,073 --> 00:08:15,809 Oh, no, l'm-l'm... l'm not doubting anything, 188 00:08:15,809 --> 00:08:17,277 Your Mumminess. 189 00:08:17,277 --> 00:08:20,213 l'm-l'm just saying that you have had many chances 190 00:08:20,213 --> 00:08:22,849 to kill us, and you actually have-have not done that. 191 00:08:22,849 --> 00:08:24,951 That'd come as a surprise to Ahmed. 192 00:08:24,951 --> 00:08:27,287 Uh, no, he's too bored to kill us. 193 00:08:27,287 --> 00:08:28,621 That's it, isn't it? 194 00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:29,889 Come on. 195 00:08:29,889 --> 00:08:31,858 3,000 years of loneliness? 196 00:08:31,858 --> 00:08:34,928 You want to keep us around to amuse you for a little while. 197 00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:37,297 The only thing that would amuse me would be 198 00:08:37,297 --> 00:08:40,333 to watch you die, inch by inch. 199 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:44,370 l think l'll use my Golden Chain of Office 200 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:46,639 to choke the air out of you, wench. 201 00:08:46,639 --> 00:08:50,343 A golden death for a golden life. 202 00:08:50,343 --> 00:08:51,644 Um, well, okay, kill me. 203 00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:53,346 See if l care. Fine. Fine. 204 00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:55,315 But you'll be snuffing out your last chance 205 00:08:55,315 --> 00:08:57,717 of grabbing a few laughs for a century, at least. 206 00:08:57,717 --> 00:08:59,686 Watching you squirm, 207 00:08:59,686 --> 00:09:01,888 l'll be laughing for centuries. 208 00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:04,090 Well, sure. l mean, who wouldn't? 209 00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:06,259 But, you know, you got to think the long-term. 210 00:09:06,259 --> 00:09:08,027 After 500 years or so, 211 00:09:08,027 --> 00:09:10,463 those laughs are gonna be wearing a little bit thin. 212 00:09:10,463 --> 00:09:13,666 l mean, sitting around, back to the old boredom, 213 00:09:13,666 --> 00:09:15,501 day in and day out. 214 00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:17,737 Sitting around in that old sarcophagus. 215 00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:19,973 You know what you need? 216 00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:22,842 You need something that's gonna really keep you laughing. 217 00:09:22,842 --> 00:09:24,344 Something really fun. 218 00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:27,180 Like-Like games, sports. 219 00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:30,383 -What sports? -What sports? 220 00:09:30,383 --> 00:09:32,385 Uh... arm wrestling. 221 00:09:32,385 --> 00:09:33,586 (clears throat) 222 00:09:33,586 --> 00:09:34,821 Harold, there, 223 00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:36,556 is a terrific arm wrestler. 224 00:09:36,556 --> 00:09:38,057 l-l bet he could beat you. 225 00:09:38,057 --> 00:09:40,994 No, no, no, no, l've got weak arms, weak. 226 00:09:40,994 --> 00:09:42,662 What do you bet? 227 00:09:42,662 --> 00:09:43,930 Well, what do l bet? 228 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:46,132 Um... my Walkman. 229 00:09:46,132 --> 00:09:48,794 Your-Your-Your what? 230 00:09:49,903 --> 00:09:52,238 Okay, boys... 231 00:09:52,238 --> 00:09:55,174 let's see you do it. 232 00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:56,242 (Tapok grunts, Harold sobs) 233 00:09:56,242 --> 00:09:57,677 -Give me the toy! -HAROLD: No! 234 00:09:57,677 --> 00:09:58,945 Congratulations. 235 00:09:58,945 --> 00:10:00,747 You win the Walkman, fair and square. 236 00:10:00,747 --> 00:10:01,915 (Harold sobs in pain) 237 00:10:01,915 --> 00:10:04,317 You-You... You are in terrific shape. 238 00:10:04,317 --> 00:10:07,153 But l bet you couldn't take Harold in a fight. 239 00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:09,522 -T-T-Take? -What?! 240 00:10:09,522 --> 00:10:11,891 Anybody can beat Harold in an arm wrestle. 241 00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:13,192 Are you kidding me? 242 00:10:13,192 --> 00:10:14,861 Look at the guy. 243 00:10:14,861 --> 00:10:17,330 But no one can beat Harold in a fight. 244 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:18,998 Fights like a demon. 245 00:10:18,998 --> 00:10:21,634 l thought we were supposed to be on the same side. 246 00:10:21,634 --> 00:10:23,169 Look, Raggedy Andy, l'm an intellectual. 247 00:10:23,169 --> 00:10:24,337 Oh! 248 00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:26,506 -TAPOK: Next! -AlLEEN: Uh... Uh... 249 00:10:26,506 --> 00:10:28,167 How about riddles? 250 00:10:29,342 --> 00:10:33,079 Uh, what has the face of a woman, the body of a lion, 251 00:10:33,079 --> 00:10:35,682 and even when it's working, it always takes pause? 252 00:10:35,682 --> 00:10:37,917 Easy. The sphinx. 253 00:10:37,917 --> 00:10:39,552 Oh, even l knew that one. 254 00:10:39,552 --> 00:10:41,554 That's older than l am. 255 00:10:41,554 --> 00:10:42,689 AlLEEN: Okay, okay. 256 00:10:42,689 --> 00:10:43,856 l've got an idea. 257 00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:45,825 What do you say we play some cards? 258 00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:47,627 Um, uh, the tarot? 259 00:10:47,627 --> 00:10:49,128 Uh, not exactly. 260 00:10:49,128 --> 00:10:50,530 l was thinking of something 261 00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:53,333 a little more on the lines of poker. 262 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,901 ''Pawkuh''? Show me how. 263 00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:56,169 Okay. 264 00:10:56,169 --> 00:10:57,904 You sit here. (Aileen pats seat twice) 265 00:10:57,904 --> 00:10:59,605 Harold, sit over there. 266 00:10:59,605 --> 00:11:00,902 (Harold moans) 267 00:11:06,813 --> 00:11:08,448 Uh, wh-what about you? 268 00:11:08,448 --> 00:11:10,783 l'll just be your good luck charm. 269 00:11:10,783 --> 00:11:12,018 Wait. 270 00:11:12,018 --> 00:11:13,586 TAPOK: Uh, what now, woman? 271 00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:15,555 (clears throat) We've got to play for something. 272 00:11:15,555 --> 00:11:17,290 Oh, yes, the stakes. 273 00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,359 You win, we die with plenty of screaming. 274 00:11:19,359 --> 00:11:20,593 (Harold scoffs) 275 00:11:20,593 --> 00:11:22,495 He wins, you let us go. 276 00:11:22,495 --> 00:11:26,733 As keeper of the tomb, l must destroy all intruders. 277 00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:27,934 HAROLD: Hey, lighten up. 278 00:11:27,934 --> 00:11:29,102 lt's just a game. 279 00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:30,236 Aren't there any exceptions? 280 00:11:30,236 --> 00:11:32,572 What should we play for? 281 00:11:32,572 --> 00:11:34,240 Wait! l have it! 282 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,210 As a youth, we frequently played with face cards, 283 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:39,746 and we had nothing to wager but our garments. 284 00:11:39,746 --> 00:11:41,114 Garments? 285 00:11:41,114 --> 00:11:43,249 Oh, it was most diverting. 286 00:11:43,249 --> 00:11:45,151 Every hand... 287 00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:48,021 (laughing): a garment was won or lost. 288 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,323 This is starting to sound an awful lot like strip poker. 289 00:11:50,323 --> 00:11:51,491 Uh-huh. 290 00:11:51,491 --> 00:11:54,227 And why not, you spawn of a jackal? 291 00:11:54,227 --> 00:11:56,462 l'm not gonna play strip poker with a mummy. 292 00:11:56,462 --> 00:11:58,431 -lf he loses, he'll turn... -Shut up! 293 00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:00,767 (whispers): But if he loses, he'll turn to dust! 294 00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:02,135 Exactly, Harold. 295 00:12:02,135 --> 00:12:03,432 Well, who deals?! 296 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,065 Deuces wild? 297 00:12:19,752 --> 00:12:21,254 HAROLD: How many cards? 298 00:12:21,254 --> 00:12:23,056 TAPOK: Eh, uh, what would you suggest? 299 00:12:23,056 --> 00:12:25,291 AlLEEN: Get rid of those three kings. 300 00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:27,593 But l thought kings are most powerful. 301 00:12:27,593 --> 00:12:29,662 Could three kings ever rule a country? 302 00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:31,297 Would they ever agree on anything? 303 00:12:31,297 --> 00:12:32,865 Ah... l see what you mean. 304 00:12:32,865 --> 00:12:34,834 l'll take... three. 305 00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,537 Coming up. 306 00:12:37,537 --> 00:12:40,940 l better win this game, or l risk being in violation 307 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:43,276 of Amenhotep's decency code. 308 00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:45,611 HAROLD: l'm in for a shirt. 309 00:12:45,611 --> 00:12:48,214 Raise him a bandage. 310 00:12:48,214 --> 00:12:49,849 Are you certain? 311 00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:51,818 Play or pay. 312 00:12:51,818 --> 00:12:53,453 l raise you a bandage! 313 00:12:53,453 --> 00:12:54,620 l'll see you. 314 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:55,655 Show him your cards. 315 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:56,956 Oh, well, yes, l remember. l remember. 316 00:12:56,956 --> 00:13:01,694 Uh, l have a three, a four, a five, a nine, 317 00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:04,363 and a jack deprived of an eye. 318 00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:05,465 Pair of tens. 319 00:13:05,465 --> 00:13:07,066 You lose. 320 00:13:07,066 --> 00:13:08,401 What? Again?! 321 00:13:08,401 --> 00:13:10,699 Unravel. 322 00:13:24,951 --> 00:13:27,120 Oh, this is most involving. 323 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,021 (laughing): l haven't had so much fun 324 00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,325 since Amenhotep changed his name to Ahknaton, 325 00:13:32,325 --> 00:13:35,161 and made everybody pray to the sunrise. 326 00:13:35,161 --> 00:13:36,395 (Aileen laughs) 327 00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:37,997 HAROLD: Sounds like a real kick. 328 00:13:37,997 --> 00:13:39,665 Uh, l bet a bandage. 329 00:13:39,665 --> 00:13:41,400 Mm... pair of pants. 330 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,004 Uh, why don't you get four more cards? 331 00:13:45,004 --> 00:13:47,406 Oh, but-but l thought 332 00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:51,144 a-a-a series in the same design is conducive to good fortune. 333 00:13:51,144 --> 00:13:54,147 Uh, yeah, ordinarily it is, but not in spades. 334 00:13:54,147 --> 00:13:55,414 Oh. 335 00:13:55,414 --> 00:13:56,972 Four. 336 00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,621 Your bet. 337 00:14:01,621 --> 00:14:03,022 Oh, l feel most fortunate. 338 00:14:03,022 --> 00:14:04,657 l bet two bandages! 339 00:14:04,657 --> 00:14:06,125 HAROLD: l'll see you, 340 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,360 and l'll raise you a jacket. 341 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,590 Agreed! Show your cards! 342 00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:12,598 Four queens. 343 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:16,702 Four ones. 344 00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:18,437 Harold wins. 345 00:14:18,437 --> 00:14:21,774 But-But-But-But l thought ones are powerful. 346 00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:25,378 Uh, yeah, that's true, they are, but-but only on the Sabbath. 347 00:14:25,378 --> 00:14:27,369 Tough break. 348 00:14:28,414 --> 00:14:32,151 Your hand reminds me four times over 349 00:14:32,151 --> 00:14:34,954 of a certain young lady of my acquaintance. 350 00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:39,292 A girl from Dashur who took quite a fancy to me. 351 00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:40,927 Unfortunately, 352 00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:43,996 she was committed to my master Ahknaton. 353 00:14:43,996 --> 00:14:45,965 Nevertheless, 354 00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:47,934 we managed a moment or two together, 355 00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:49,702 when l held her in my ar... 356 00:14:49,702 --> 00:14:50,703 HAROLD: Less talk 357 00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:52,138 and more action, pal? 358 00:14:52,138 --> 00:14:53,706 (roaring) 359 00:14:53,706 --> 00:14:55,675 (yelling) 360 00:14:55,675 --> 00:14:59,679 You dare to interrupt my only pleasant memory?! 361 00:14:59,679 --> 00:15:00,513 Oh, no... 362 00:15:00,513 --> 00:15:02,515 l should pluck out your arms 363 00:15:02,515 --> 00:15:04,250 like flower petals! 364 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:07,053 AlLEEN: Tell us about that girl. 365 00:15:07,053 --> 00:15:08,854 Uh, the one from Dashur. 366 00:15:08,854 --> 00:15:11,357 l-l-l'd really like to hear about her. 367 00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:14,627 Oh, it was most romantic. 368 00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:17,763 We met secretly, 369 00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:20,600 in a small boat, 370 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,569 set among the papyrus reeds. 371 00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:25,434 l knew you were a romantic. 372 00:15:32,878 --> 00:15:34,347 (whispers): What now? 373 00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:35,848 l think he's in a trance. 374 00:15:35,848 --> 00:15:38,150 Well, l thought you said once the bandages were off, 375 00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:39,151 he'd be vaporized. 376 00:15:39,151 --> 00:15:40,152 Yeah, l did. 377 00:15:40,152 --> 00:15:43,256 He's looking better than ever, isn't he? 378 00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:45,424 We should, uh, make our move now, huh? 379 00:15:45,424 --> 00:15:47,159 How? The door's solid. 380 00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:50,129 Well, doors have locks, locks have keys. 381 00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:51,697 Aha! 382 00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:52,965 l've got it! 383 00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:53,799 You've got what? 384 00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,568 Well, l just took a little trip. 385 00:15:55,568 --> 00:15:58,104 An out-of-body voyage to a place-- 386 00:15:58,104 --> 00:16:00,906 a most unusual and interesting place-- 387 00:16:00,906 --> 00:16:03,976 known, l believe, as Las Vegas. 388 00:16:03,976 --> 00:16:06,078 -(Harold gulps loudly) -l saw a thousand games there 389 00:16:06,078 --> 00:16:10,182 played by a man named, uh, uh, Lowball Jones. 390 00:16:10,182 --> 00:16:11,651 Oh, he... l... 391 00:16:11,651 --> 00:16:13,653 lt was very educational in poker. 392 00:16:13,653 --> 00:16:16,088 l saw it all-- Stud, Draw, 393 00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:18,424 Cincinnati, Pass the Trash, 394 00:16:18,424 --> 00:16:21,594 and my own personal favorite, 395 00:16:21,594 --> 00:16:23,429 Spit in the Ocean. 396 00:16:23,429 --> 00:16:25,598 l think that he's ready to play. 397 00:16:25,598 --> 00:16:27,166 TAPOK: Deal. 398 00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,735 And don't think l didn't hear you two plotting against me. 399 00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:32,727 You want the door open? Here is the power. 400 00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:39,578 This will serve as your final prize, provided 401 00:16:39,578 --> 00:16:41,247 you can win another hand. 402 00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:42,882 Sounds good to me. 403 00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:44,747 Let's play. 404 00:16:50,056 --> 00:16:51,490 HAROLD: How many? 405 00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:52,855 l'll stick. 406 00:16:54,226 --> 00:16:55,420 (sighs quietly) 407 00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:01,423 What do you got? 408 00:17:03,069 --> 00:17:05,171 Pair of treys, ace high. 409 00:17:05,171 --> 00:17:07,605 You won. 410 00:17:08,574 --> 00:17:10,810 He won! 411 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,645 Oh, about time, too. 412 00:17:12,645 --> 00:17:14,347 Well, l'll, uh... 413 00:17:14,347 --> 00:17:17,450 All right, l'll give you back, uh, three feet of bandages. 414 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:20,219 No. l want your helmet. 415 00:17:20,219 --> 00:17:22,847 Whatever you say. 416 00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:26,759 Pretty good fit, too. 417 00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:28,590 Deal! 418 00:17:42,007 --> 00:17:43,476 l'm freezing. 419 00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:47,413 Look, l'll swap you 50 feet of rags for my jacket. 420 00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:49,548 Use the bandages. 421 00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:52,142 They're not so bad, once you get used to them. 422 00:17:54,453 --> 00:17:56,222 (Harold scoffs) 423 00:17:56,222 --> 00:17:58,213 Uh, help me. 424 00:18:08,601 --> 00:18:09,969 Aha! 425 00:18:09,969 --> 00:18:12,405 l got you dead to rights this time. 426 00:18:12,405 --> 00:18:15,341 l see you, and l raise you my tie. 427 00:18:15,341 --> 00:18:18,978 Your-Your face is a beacon of newfound confidence. 428 00:18:18,978 --> 00:18:20,880 You bet your ribbons it is! 429 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,816 Oh, l tire of this. 430 00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:25,418 l have a proposition for you. 431 00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:26,719 All or nothing. 432 00:18:26,719 --> 00:18:28,448 Your tie against the key. 433 00:18:29,455 --> 00:18:32,224 You're on. 434 00:18:32,224 --> 00:18:34,193 (stammers) One small catch, Harold. 435 00:18:34,193 --> 00:18:37,296 lf you lose, you take my place down here. 436 00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:40,099 He's beginning to look like he belongs down here, anyhow. 437 00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:41,267 Oh. 438 00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,668 HAROLD: No problem. 439 00:18:42,668 --> 00:18:43,836 lf l lose. 440 00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:46,532 Harold, he's playing for the key. 441 00:18:47,773 --> 00:18:51,334 Well, it's really an amulet, but it does open the door. 442 00:18:53,078 --> 00:18:54,880 What do you got, pops? 443 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,049 You first. 444 00:18:57,049 --> 00:19:00,219 Nine, ten, jack, queen, king of diamonds. 445 00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:01,454 Straight flush. 446 00:19:01,454 --> 00:19:03,155 Beat that, Desert Breath. 447 00:19:03,155 --> 00:19:05,953 Oh... ten... 448 00:19:07,059 --> 00:19:08,959 Jack... 449 00:19:10,262 --> 00:19:11,354 Queen... 450 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,458 King... 451 00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:19,505 Ace of hearts. 452 00:19:19,505 --> 00:19:20,339 (gasps) 453 00:19:20,339 --> 00:19:22,408 Straight royal flush. 454 00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:24,510 ln hearts. 455 00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:25,611 Your tie, sir. 456 00:19:25,611 --> 00:19:27,313 Listen, here... 457 00:19:27,313 --> 00:19:29,215 l'm a very important archaeologist. 458 00:19:29,215 --> 00:19:31,083 The whole world will be looking for me. 459 00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,352 Oh, they will undoubtedly find you... 460 00:19:33,352 --> 00:19:35,547 after 50 centuries or so. 461 00:19:54,206 --> 00:19:56,308 (muffled shrieking) 462 00:19:56,308 --> 00:19:59,011 l doubt he'll make a very good guard for Ahknaton. 463 00:19:59,011 --> 00:20:01,814 (Harold whimpering) 464 00:20:01,814 --> 00:20:03,649 But the power of the cursed mummy 465 00:20:03,649 --> 00:20:05,684 comes entirely from the bandages. 466 00:20:05,684 --> 00:20:07,620 (muffled muttering) 467 00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:08,988 (Aileen gasps and yells) 468 00:20:08,988 --> 00:20:10,789 See? 469 00:20:10,789 --> 00:20:14,226 (muffled muttering and whimpering) 470 00:20:14,226 --> 00:20:17,897 Yes, even the power of a mummy has its limitations. 471 00:20:17,897 --> 00:20:19,798 -The amulet? -HAROLD: No! 472 00:20:19,798 --> 00:20:21,033 lt could stop 20 mummies. 473 00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,368 -(Harold shrieks angrily) -Oh... 474 00:20:22,368 --> 00:20:24,904 lt could also open a certain door. 475 00:20:24,904 --> 00:20:27,940 Aw, Tapok, what about me? 476 00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:30,342 Are you gonna leave me down here to rot? 477 00:20:30,342 --> 00:20:32,411 TAPOK (clearing throat): Well, Aileen, 478 00:20:32,411 --> 00:20:37,650 you do look a lot like that girl in the papyrus reeds, 479 00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:41,820 and l might consider a joyful alliance. 480 00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,923 -l love older men. -(Tapok gasps passionately) 481 00:20:43,923 --> 00:20:45,257 (muffled): Older men?! 482 00:20:45,257 --> 00:20:48,193 (Harold mutters, then shrieks) 483 00:20:48,193 --> 00:20:50,930 And remember what they say in Vegas: 484 00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:53,532 Keep your eye on the bottom of the deck. 485 00:20:53,532 --> 00:20:57,102 (laughing) 486 00:20:57,102 --> 00:21:00,539 He was palming the cards! 487 00:21:00,539 --> 00:21:02,441 (Tapok laughing, Harold whimpering) 488 00:21:02,441 --> 00:21:04,577 -(echoing thud) -(grunts) 489 00:21:04,577 --> 00:21:06,879 (groans) 490 00:21:06,879 --> 00:21:08,176 (crying) 491 00:21:19,558 --> 00:21:23,362 NARRATOR: The dark side is always there. 492 00:21:23,362 --> 00:21:25,898 Waiting for us to enter. 493 00:21:25,898 --> 00:21:29,134 Waiting to enter us. 494 00:21:29,134 --> 00:21:36,006 Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.